A Shepherd Boy - 양치기 소년

I remember reading a short story written by a French noblest, Alphonse Daudet, in which he depicts a young shepherd living in a remote mountainous region on a hillside keeping a heard of sheep, away from a village. On one summer day, following a heavy torrential rainstorm, the mailman who usually deliver mails from the village could not come, instead a girl - owner's daughter, whom the shepherd adores, delivered mails instead. She was caught in the shepherd's eyes as her bonnet appeared and then her full picture over the hill.  The boy was feeling delighted and joyful seeing the girl walking slowly up the hill carrying a handful of mails in her hand.  The story is culminated as the girl had left for home could not go across inundated brook and returns back crying ended up staying over for a night with the shepherd boy. The owner's daughter is curious how shepherds spend in the mountains feeling lonely. To her question, the boy would answer that watching so many stars in the sky doesn't make him feel lonely, and the boy was thrilled to explain all her questions. When darkness fell on the hillside and myriad stars appeared in sky, they were star gazing sitting side by side. The shepherd boy was thrilled sitting next to the Stepanette talking about stars that he is so used to watching all alone in many lonely nights. The young girl fell asleep with her head rested on the shepherd's shoulder.

I remember the moments reading this story in a high school classroom. The story was so sweet and I read again during the break following and dreamt about about what would be like to be the shepherd when Korean school would not pay attention to sexuality of young people. My woman biology teacher skipped the entire chapter of human reproduction in the middle school by simply uttering a phrase, "I will skip this chapter. If any of you have any question about human sexuality, please come to my office."  The society's negligence and suppression on  human sexuality to young people was well reflective very crude militaristic society, making my dreaming about the girl all the more sweet.  Her handling the matter, in retrospect, was rather disturbing now that I think, snubbing off the part of our living without proper acknowledgment and respect only augmenting it as a taboo, and negation and suppression of her own sexuality.  After all, how impressive any biology teacher can be, who skip the chapter of human reproduction!  This short story fell in the middle of the textbook, as if there had been a conspiracy, perfectly in line with time of sultry summer summer month of July had arrived - as mounting peer pressure amongst the students getting built - by throwing a spurt of cool summer romantic tale.

 In the midst of our  hectic lives there can be spurious moments that turns around throwing pixy dust giving fresh look at the surrounding. These moments sooth us and caress aches like sun's ray thawing frozen landscape in winter.  Such sweet times are rare, and it is treasured later to be sparkled along with fireworks by the river bank long time after like the shepherd see one of the stars as if his adorable Stepanette.

The day I met Julia was on the  Friday in a fall semester when I was taking a freshman English composition course which I had deferred taking it until 3rd year in the school. The campus became virtually empty on the fall day as I walked toward the building where English department was located; the students had left to home early on that day for upcoming holiday weekend.  The emptiness of the campus oozed somewhat desolate feeling even though sun was setting with colorful hues in the western sky exuding its gaiety.  As I was walking in the hallway heading toward the classroom, some lights in the hallway had already been turned off,  giving me doubts that anybody would be present to help out students with English papers. As I approached to the last room near the other entrance,  I saw lights emitting through door ajar.  As I knocked on the opened door, a woman with long light blond hair  raised her from reading a book sitting in the room.  Through the windows sunlights were still shinning very peacefully like a silky dress in the western sky.  Julia put the book away on a large wooden desk in front of her and asked, "Can I help you?"   I told her that that I need someone to correct my English paper and handed out the paper that I had worked on. Julia placed it on table in front of her and started reading.  I pulled a chair up across the table and sat down.  She asked me whether she could make write on the paper, upon which I responded saying "O.K." Julia started correcting it with a red ball pointed pen.  I was glad that such help was available for I had deferred taking the mandatory English writing course for two years.

Weeks earlier, I visited the English department office to seek any help might be available with correcting papers for students taking English courses, and the secretary told me that graduate students on work study program offers such help on weekly basis, and that I would be able to get the help needed.

 I do remember how I became acquainted with Julia; it was over  but I must have thought of taking her out after meeting her several times getting help from her. I do remember taking her out for a dinner at a Chinese restaurant in downtown after much thinking what to say to her during the dinner without having had much experiences talking in English with a woman.  I admired her amicability and loved seeing her smiling. During our dinner, she made me feel comfortable.  She was tall woman and her smiles had very charming qualities. She was kind and gentle woman.  As the semester went, I found myself getting more drawn to the English department building.  I even went there even at the time she doesn't work there.  One day, I saw her studying at the library;  I could see her from her back side.

One day, Julia called in distress telling me that her apartment was infested with roaches and the landlord would not do anything about it.  She asked me whether it would be possible to sleep in my apartment.  I told her to come to my place. Luckily, my roommate was gone over the weekend and I could let Julia come in.  On that night, we talked and talked, and Julia slept on couch. I brought a pillow and a blanket  that I had and had her lay down flat comfortably on the couch .  On that night, I watched her sleeping like the shepherd boy finding Stephnette had fallen in sleep leaning her head over his shoulder under starry night as he was explaining to her about the stars.

하얀 오후 - The White Afternoon

I was at work on the day of 9/11.  It was a nice early fall day in a small town of New England where I worked. On that day, there was no stirring of wind, everything was calm as fall's rays shedding its last remnant of summer, and mellow ray of fall was shinning.  The news of the incident spread out quickly in the company on that morning. Upon hearing the unfathomable incident happened, people in the building stirred up, flocking up in the dinning area to listen to a radio placed on a dinning table. The tone of voice heard from the newscaster was reflective of the chaos unfolding in the NYC.  The tone of the voice was raised 10 decibel higher when the 2nd building of the trade center was hit by another airplane.  On that morning, we were all in the state of shock and became speechless.

The company dismissed all the workers early one O'clock in the afternoon.  It was very unusual that the dismissal was due to something other than Tornado or Nor Easter snow storm that would normally be attributed to dismissal.  A hit of a cloud in clear blue sky reflected on the glass window as I was getting in my car.  On the highway,  heading back home,  not much traffic was encountered  that would have been savored in total contrast the heavy traffic encountered earlier in the morning.  The thoughts of the incident happened in NYC was swirling in my mind, wondering who might have committed such horrendous act.  A flash of memories of a news that I had seen on TV some 18 years earlier occurred in my mind, where the WTC was reported to have been placed with a bomb and search crew with snipping dogs were dispatched to look for it. As I was heading into the town where I lived,  couple of fire engines were running in frenzy with loud siren sound as though some other disaster had happened somewhere in the town, adding more anxiety; it almost made me to think that they were heading to NYC at the scene of the chaos, unable to tell them apart.   To me,  the totality of chaotic scenes heard and seen before arriving home induced a high level of anxiety. The anxiety may come in all different flavor, but it almost tasted like once when I was wrongfully accused of a shoplifting in a shop being taken into an office in the corner of the store not knowing how to speak in English nor how to defend myself, standing in front of watchful eyes being looked at suspiciously by shopkeepers.

After the incident,  the media kept on putting high rhetoric of fighting against terrorism and then the rhetoric evolved further going to war with Iraq and Afghanistan despite no direct correlation seems to have been found.    People's frustration was running high due to the attack; I could see many cars fluttering American flags - that would normally be seen on wooden flower pots here and there - on so many cars on the road. Witnessing the horror of two airplanes going on suicide missions heading to the twin towner soon followed by incidents of hate crimes against non-whites.  Some of the cars had oversize flags. In the media, there was talk of crackdown of terrorism day after day and year after year.  G. Bush drove up the rhetoric of going to war.  And in the midst of all this, a Rock'n Roll girls' band group mentioned a political statement opposing to go war and their remark was brutally bashed by the media.

I could feel the resentments and hatreds brewing in the air like a teapot that was about to make whistling sound and overflow.  As the media reported that who were the suspects,  many non-white were not living normally as eruptions of the resentments occurred, and its shard of struck me on one day, several years later when the brewing had not stopped, to a person who has nothing to do with 9/11 and wished that it never happened,  living in a small town in New England:

 My family made a weekend excursion to a tourist attraction in New England.  As we were strolling in the area, me sipping coffee as I was walking holding a camera in the other hand.  There were a group of young mens in 20's were hanging out standing in front of a tavern talking, giggling cracking jokes.  They got drunken on that Sunday afternoon holding beer bottles on their hands.  Seeing us walking by, one of the young man shouted, "He is holding a handgrenade!" and the rest of the group started laughing.  Their voice was loud as though they were thinking that we were tourists who did not understand English. As I heard them laughing, I confronted them and walked up to them. I demanded that the person who made the statement come forward; the group of young men who made the statement should come forward and show his face in front of me, but the young man would not come. I told the group that the person should come forward and then moved over 20 feet away them and waited the person to come. After a while,  a young man came and apologize. I demanded that the very person man who made the statement should come forward, not him.  After waiting for five minuted, I walked into a restaurant and called police.  By the time policeman arrived, they all fled.

한인사회가 잘 되려면...

미국에 잘나가는 한인 사회가 몇군데나 될까?.
이 질문은 적합한 것이 못된다.
오히려 미국에서는 잘나가지 않는 한인사회가 정상 일 지도 모른다.
한인을 묘사한다면, 일본, 중국, 러시아의 한인과는 다르게 저마다 한국을 등지고
온 사람들이다.  미국에와서 한인 끼리 모여 오손도손 잘 살려고 청사진의 꿈을 꾸고
온 사람은 사실상 없다고 봐야한다.

미국에 온 사람은 새옷을 입는 것과 같다.  옛옷은 버리고 새로운 옷을 디자인하고
갈아 입어야 한다.  옛옷을  가끔은 입을 수는 있겟지만  계속해 입을 수는 없다.
우리는 저마다 새로운 옷을 입고 만나야 한다. 그러나, 한인사회의 문제는 가라입을 새옷이 없다

사실, 한인회의 발전을  갈망하는 사람은 미국에서 오래산 사람 일게다; 온갖 인종차별에다
외로움을 겪어봐 자기의 권익과 인권을 위해 도움을 받을 수 있는 참다운 한인회을 연민이라도 할테니깐..

한인사회의 궁극적인 목적은 이것이다 - 새옷을 만들어야 한다.
무에서 유을 창조하는 것. 마치 불모의 땅을 개척하는, 새마을운동을  해야 한다.

일단 사람들에게 관심을 끌어야 한다.  이괸심을 끌기 위해서는, 미국에서 오래 성공적으로 살고, 아름다운 한인사회을 꿈꾸는 자' 만이 할수 있다 - 새옷을 만들 수 있는 사람이어야 한다.   이는 미국사회을 잘 알고 리더쉽이 있는 사람만이 가능 한 것 이다. 한인회의 문제는 근본적으로 리더쉽의 부재이다.

그리고 리더는 한인을 도우려는 정신과.  전통을 이어 한인회의실에는 안창호선생의 사진을 걸어 놓고 일 할수 있는 사람들 이어야 한다.

누굴 도운다는 '정신'을 키운다는 건, 마치 태권도을 하는 거와 같다. 먼저 태권도을 하겠다는 의지가 있어야 하고,  꾸준히 노력해 검정띄도 딸 수 있어야 한다 .  한인을 돕겠다는 의지의 발상이 있어야 한다.  이 의지의 불씨가 활화산 처럼 타올라야 한다.

한인사회의  두드러진 집합은 교회와 동창회 이다.
미국에 후세을 위해 아름다운 청사진을  꿈꾸는데 교회나 동창회가 필요할까?.

이 집합체들은 갈수록 많아지고,  정작 모든한인을 위해 중추적인 활동을 해야 할 한인회는 상대적으로 싹이 자라지도 못했다.  한국인이 좀더 포괄적으로 뻣어나가야 할 모태을 교회와 동창회들이 부지불식간에 시들시들하게 만들어 버린 것이다.  한국인/한인이 잘 뭉치지 못하는 이유가 바로 여기에 있다. 위대한 선조, 안중근의사, 안창호 선생의 얼을 받아 '한국인'이라는 자부심을 키워 왔어야 하는데, 모든 사회가 한국인 인것 하나만으로는 충분조건이 되어야 하는데, 사농공상따지는 유교문화가 이어져  '인간'이란 공통분모로 하나 만으로도 교감이 갈 수 없게 - 한국인, 학교,교회, 지역 출신,생김새, 등등 -  서로 만나기을 꺼려하는 별 희귀한 문화가 생겨 버렸다. 한국인은 쉽상 뿔뿔이 흩어져 다른 인종으로 흡수되기 쉽다.

미국에서 끼리끼리 하는 집단은 성공 할 수가 없다.  끼리끼리하는 일은 배재하여야 한다.
미국에서 흑인들이 성공 못하는 이유가 여기에 있다.  흑인들은 절대 남을 끓어앉지 않고 자기네 만을 위해 달란다. 백인들 중에는 흑인의 인권을 위해 일하는 사람은 종종 있는데, 흑인들 중에는 다른 인종, 남을위해 일하는 사람은 없다.  그래서 미국에서 제도적으로 흑인을 위하는 데도 흑인은 잘 못 나간다 - 서로 도우며 상승하지 못하고 , 별로 인정을 받지 못한다.

한국의 끼리끼리 구도도 이와 흡사하지 않은가?

끼리 끼리는 아름다운 구도가 아니다.  한인회가 얼마나 아름다움을 갈망하고 성공적으로
이끄느냐가 한인도 유태인처럼 미국에서 편하게 살수 있느냐 판가름 할수 있다.



끼리 끼리 형태의 한인구도는 한인들의 목소리을 모두어 미국에서의 한인의 위상을 높이는데 별로 도움이 안된다. 즉, 한인구도는 각기관이 저마다 역할을 분담해 한인을 도우려는 목적아래 기구의 조합이 되어야지, 교회나 동창회의 집합으로 서로 고향이 그리워 등이나 긁는 형태는 아니어야 한다. 한인구도는 모든한인을 포괄할 수 있어야 하며, 교회나 동창회는 한인회을 돕고 따라야하는 역할을 담당하는 서포트 구룹이 되어야 한다.

그리고 한인회는 미국주류사회와 호흡을 마추고 한인의 권리와 이익을 옹호할수 있는 기관이 되어야 하고, 항상초점이 멋진 미래을 향해 있어야 한다. 멋진 한인회관을 만들고, 곤경에 빠진 이웃을 돕고, 타민족과 호흡을 마추고 도와 주며 사는 이런기관이 되기위해서는  미국에서 교육을 받고 일한 경험이 많은 사람들이 교회와 동창회을 벗어나 한인회을 위해 활동해야 한다. 이들이 한인회의 초석이 되어 진정 후대을위해 거듭나도록 도와 주어야 한다. 한인회의 주인은 한인들이 서로 뭉쳐 도우며 살아야 한다는 강한 인식의 집단이어야 한다. 한인회의 진정한 목적은 한인들이 미국에서 살때 미국사회을 이해시키고 잘 살수 있도록 도와주는 것이고, 그들이 성공해 다른 한인들을 도와 주는, 파급효과로 이어져 후대에게 도움을 줄 수 있어야 한다.  다같이 모여 참여 하는 공간을 만들어야지, 끼리끼리는 안된다.

한인사회는 어떻케 발전 할 수 있을까?

종전의 의 끼리끼리 구도도 계속 이어지다, 공통분모가 이루어 지지 않으면 비누방울이 터지둣 자취없이 사라지는 형태 일까, 아니면 하나하나 놓인 돌이 싸여서 거대한 산을 만드는 일이 될까?  미국에 올때 청사진을 갖고 오지 않고, 새 옷을 지어 오지 않은 우리의 큰 고민 이다. 

끼리 끼리는 아름다운 구도가 아니다.  한인회가 얼마나 아름다움을 갈망하고 성공적으로

이끄느냐가 한인도 유태인처럼 미국에서 편하게 살수 있느냐 판가름 할수 있다.

수동적인 교육과 데이트의 상관관계

한국의 교육을 한 마디로 표현하면  "교사가 일방적으로 학생들에게 지식을 전달하는 수업 방식" 이다. . 문제는 이런 수업 방식은 학생들로 하여금 어떠한 흥미도, 창의성 등 아무것도 끌어낼 수 없고, 사실, 학생의 귀중한 시간을 허비하게 된다. 또한 학생들끼리 서로 의견을 주고 받으하면서 무엇이 맞고 틀린지 알아야 하는데, 그저 교사가 모든 설명을 다 해주니, 학생들은 그냥 듣기만 하는 수동적인 자세가 되고 만다. 오히려, 이런 환경은 쓸데 없는 경쟁심이나 불러 일의 키고, 대화을 통한 협동심이나 팀웍내지 개인의 창의성을 말살시킨다.

한국에서는 교사는 학생들에게 일방적으로 지식 전달만 한다. 문제 풀라고 하고, 답 맞추고, 모르는 문제는 설명해 주고... 한국에서는 대부분의 학교 수업 방식이 이렇다. 또한 한국 학생들도 이러한 교사의 수업 방식에 길들어져 버린다.  이러한 수업방식은 사실 인간의 창의성을 말살시키는 독극물과 같은 것이다. 사실, 이런 수업은 교육적으로 개인에 어마어마한 피해을 가져온다.

이런 수동적인 방법의 한국교육은 얼마나 한심한가! 그리고 그 한심한 교육은 언제 그칠것인가!
                                 

바람직한 수업 방식은 교사가 일방적으로 지식을 전달하기보다는, 학생들이 자신의 의견을 말할 수 있도록 끊임없이 질문을 던지고 흥미를 이끌어야 한다. 훌륭한 교사는 학생들의 의견에 보충 설명을 하면서 점점 사고 범위를 넓혀주고 학생들이 수업에 전적으로 다 참여할 수 있도록  유도 하는 겄이다.

이러한 교육을 받은 한국여성들은 데이트을 해도 느껴진다. 교육을 받는 과정에서 창의적이지 못하고 오랫동안 수동적 교육방식에 젖이 서로 별로 다른 개성을 찿아보기 힘들다.  교육의 진정한 목적은 성숙되게  '자기의 표현'을 할수 있는 사람으로 가꾸어 지는 것이다.  사회에서 원하는 데로 벽돌처럼 개성없이 키워진 사람들은 만나면 재미없고 빨리 호감이 가질 않는다. 데이트는 그사람이 어떤식의 교육을 받고 살아왔는지 여실히 드러난다.

시골다람쥐와 서울쥐 - A contrast in journalistic demeanor

I took my family to North Conway, N.H. on a vacation when my daughter was about four and my son was two years old . The weather had been beautiful with clear blue sky throughout the vacation. On the 2nd day we stayed, the town held a harvest fair on a parking lot of a ski resort with collection of  art works from the local artists. There were many tables laid out with all sorts of artifacts on top; jewelries and various arts and crafts were put out for sale. Seeing all the interesting stuff, my daughter, who was then four years old - enthralled by all the glittering and fancy stuff - was walking around browsing items along side with her Mom.  My daughter's enjoyment of seeing the art works was clearly palpable on her face with excitement and joyful expressions on her face, and a glimpse of it was caught by a local journalist who happened to be there looking to capture moments of the festivity.  As my daughter was touching a necklace hung from a jewelry-stand,  the woman took photo shots of her at the moment.  After taking the photo, the woman walked over and told me that she was a journalist for the local newspaper  and complimented how cute my daughter was, and would very much like to  publish my daughter's photo in the upcoming newspaper for the week asking for the permission to publish it.  For the response,  I said gladly that it's fine. The journalist then told me that she could send the newspaper mailed to me.

After several weeks later, a letter was arrived from the journalist, containing a small note saying how pretty and cute my daughter was and a cut-out from the newspaper with my daughter's picture which showed her with her tiny hand reaching out to a necklace with a star on a newlry-stand.  The title of the photo was : Reaching for a star.

The letter brought lots of joy to  my family; on the day the letter was received, we talked about the trip to the town over our dinner.  My daughter was very happy to see that her picture came out on a newspaper for the first time ever in her life. Seeing my daughter in gleeful mood, my son sitting next
to her became jealous and started asking me when his photo would come on a newspaper like his sister.  On which,  I told him that moments will come soon or later without advanced notice.

A moment that would make  my son's picture come out on a newspaper came five years later, one day, when a Korean women's field hockey team came to the city where I live, for a match with a team from a European country. I went to watch the game taking my family.  We cheered sitting on the first row by the walk way. After the game was over, a woman, holding a camera, appeared to be in 30s approached me and introduced herself to me that she works for a Korean newspaper for the Korean community in the city and asked for an interview.  On which, I gladly said "Yes," to have  my son's wish to be on a newspaper come true. The journalist took several photos of my family and then took her notebook out  and started firing off her questions as she was writing down our responses on the notebook. The journalist told me that the photos will appear in the upcoming weekly newspaper.

  On the following weekday when the newspaper came out, I went to the local grocery shop to pick up the newspaper.  After picking up the newspaper, I looked immediately at the sporting section in much anticipation that my family's photo that she had taken would be seen - especially my son's picture. Contrary to my anticipation, the newspaper had no pictures of my family; the newspaper had pictures
of the team alongside with other spectators, but it entirely omitted presence of my family there altogether. I am not going to speculate why my family's photo was missing. The journalist lied to me!!

 When my son asked me what happened to the photos that the woman took, I just snbbed it off lying to him that I haven't had chance to pick up the newspaper yet, hoping that my son would never ask me the question again; my son would have felt that how negligent of his father was over his sphere.

My son's wish to be on a newspaper came into a reality without an advanced notice, just like what I had told him at the dinner table, five years later, when a town's newspaper journalist for the town where he lives captured moments of my son and several other students walking into a high school building happily on their first day in high school after summer vacation. Having just graduated from the Middle School earlier June of the year, the town newspaper depicted the boys in smile with title: Happy Freshman High School Students heading into classrooms. 

한인사회의 롤모델?

종종 듣는 애기가 "한인은 유태인처럼 부지런하고 똑똑하다. 유태인한테 배우자"이다.
한인이 유대인을 따라만 할수 있다면 한인도 우수한 소수민족의 하나가 될 것이다.
하지만, 한인들 중 유대인을 따라 할 줄도 모르면서 말만 떠벌리는 사람은 또
얼마나 많은가? 차라리 말이나 말지.

미국 유태인들은 미국에서 다른인종들괴 비교하면 좀 다르다는 느낌을 받는다;
오랫동안 타인종과 얽혀살아 별로 타인종을 낳설어 하지 않고....
그네들의 장점은 상황이 나쁘더라도 감정적이지 않고 실리을 잘 추구한다는 점이다.

그내들은 미국에서 백인의 기득권을 갖고 산다 - 미국의 정치, 종교,경제, 사회, 교육,
언론, 금융, 문학,학문, 예술에 깊이 관여하고, 서로간 유대관계는 깊다.
유대인들은 겉모양새가 백인과 거의 같다, 언뚯보기에는 백인이다; 아랍사람과도 흡사하다. 서로 아브라함의 자손이니,  이스라엘과 파레스타인의 분쟁은 사촌지간의 싸움인 셈이다.
미국에서는 소수민족으로사나 그네들의 영향력은 커서 기득권자의 역할을 톡톡히한다.
K-12 학교휴일중 유태인 휴일은 두서너개는 되는 것 같다.
유대인들은 자기네 문화, 전통을 미국에 갖고와 고스란히 지키고 키워 왔다; 다른 인종은
미국문화에 동화되는 반면, 유태인은 자기네 것을 지키며 산다.

한인들은 한국에서 무엇을 가져 왔나?
교회와 동창회들?

다들 "우리끼리 끼리"하는 모임과 집합체이다.
"우리끼리 끼리"만 하다가 노벨상하나 못타고 앉아있는 한국대학들을 보라!
우습지 않나!

1981년도쯤에 타임즈 메가진은 유태인 세명이 큰웃음을 띄고 앉아있는 사진을 실었다; 그때당시뉴욕시장이었던 카치시장, 세계적 바이얼린리스트 펄만, 그리고 노벨로리엣인 한 사람 이었다. 사진의 제목은 "유대인이 주류사회에 끼다."

그사진이 싫린지가 인제 40년 세월이 흘렀다;  미국 한인사회도 그동안 많이 발전
했다, 하지만 한국인 세명이 그렇케  큰 웃음을 띄고 앉아 있는 조그마한 사진을 보기란 아직도 요원한 일 일것 같다.

대연각호텔 대화재 - The day when a big fire broke out in downtown

Getting up early in blissful morning on Christmas day of 1971, I packed my gears and headed out to my neighboring town, YunHee-Dong, where I go for skating as I have skated couple of times already for the winter. Walking to the skating took more than thirty minutes walking, but it was enjoyable thinking about all the fun that I would have while skating and having snacks at the place. Back then  YunHee-Dong had many rice paddies as the town was not fully developed for residential area as nowadays; in summer time, I used to go there to catch slimy fish in small ponds. The skating place was nearby the main street, and a half dozen people sharping blades for the people would be encountered; these workers appeared along the path of the main street as soon skating season started - they were sitting on wooden benches, pursing and pulling a round sharping stone on sitting on two blades. As they were making the motions, steam bellowed out from their mouth in the cold weather. Although I might have thought that they were feeling cold in early morning, all their motion pushing the stone would make their body feel warm.  Around the time, the rice paddies in the town started taken away by influx of people coming, forming  new residential areas, and I could see houses were getting built here and there.  The ice place was made temporarily by freezing rice paddy.  Couple of weeks earlier, I had to look for another skating place frantically upon finding that the skating place in the past year was no longer in service.  Luckily, a new skating place was opened across the main artery on the other side of the downtown. It was a huge relief finding the new place for skating as I could continue enjoy skating for the winter.  On that day, I headed out in the mood of celebrating for the special occasion with a bit of doubt that the skating place would be open.  Heading out in gleeful mood in the dawn,  I felt that it would be a mild day, not terribly cold, around 0 degree Celcius, thinking crispy winter day ahead made me feel good for the winter vacation had just begun.  

 Upon arriving, I felt how fortunate to the place was open. Furthermore, the ice condition was in good condition with fresh coat of ice formed overnight.  There were already few people skating in sight as sun rose from top of mountain nearby.  After putting my skates on sitting on a wooden bench laid in vinyl makeshift huts, I stepped out onto the ice rink, feeling novelty of the ice surface, cool crispy morning touching my face seeing sun's ray gliding on the frozen surface. Through the speakers that had been placed around the rink to play music, Christmas carols were played continuously, and people were skating happily in the holiday spirits.  As the crowd gathered mid morning and past the lunch time, the atmosphere was even more swell, and I thought that I would not have found a better place to be in the holiday spirits that will abruptly wane down once the skating was over.  The morning was absolutely calm with no stirring of wintery wind. After three hours of skating and having munches in between breaks, my feet started to sore, and I contemplated leaving the place to go back home.  getting off the rink, I felt good as if would fly, walking all the way home savoring the fine weather. The Christmas carol song, "Jingle Bells," in English that I heard back in the rink was constantly being played in my ears, and I tried to shake it off  by asserting myself that Christmas is almost gone reminding myself to look forward to coming of the New year's Day.   

Upon arriving home,  I saw two women, my mother and my great-grandmother, were sitting in front of TV, which was rather unusual for I had never seen them together watching T.V. and sitting close by to each other, and my great-grandmother kept saying, "아이고, 저걸어쩌나!," watching an incident of fire broke out in downtown as it was being televised.  My attention was immediately drawn to the TV; a tall white building in downtown bellowing thick smoke from virtually all its windows;  many firemen were desperately trying to put out the fire on the ground and several tall ladders being stretched out to the mid-section of the building in dire situation.  It was a tall building, and I had never seen any ladder could reach that high; however, it was not reaching quite up to a room in mid-section of the building where a man was standing by the window to be rescued.  It looked to me that the fire spread out quickly from the bottom of the building giving him no chance to escape the fire, stranded in his room.  The T.V. camera zoomed in to broadcast the scenes of rescuing the man, reporting that the man had been waiting more than several hours already... and the difficulties of decisive help could not be made.  The man looked over 40 years old, and the camera could not zoom in close enough to see the man's face. 

Finally, the man was rescued,  and I saw the man was being taken away by an ambulance. It was the worst of human tragedy that I have ever seen showing live on TV. The firemen put out their best fights and I saw their heroic efforts in action trying to rescue the man; the was put out after so many hours of fighting the fire. Later,  I heard a report that the casualties were very high, and the man who hanged tight all the way to the end calling for help standing by the window was succumbed to dying despite his indomitable will to survive; had the man was rescued one hour yearly, he would have survived.  

The incident of the fire was still to vivid in my memories. It was the time when I didn't know precisely where the building was located.  After several years, I was passing by the place, and saw the building in actual size,  all reconstructed and painted standing there as if it had forgotten what had happened on that Christmas day. I thought of  the man as I was passing by it, who had been waiting so patiently and so desperately in the inferno for a help to arrive, standing by the window inhaling toxic fume; his indomitable will to survive is still to vivid in my memories.

The big fire on that Christmas day had a potent effect of making Christmas carol songs stop playing in my ears instantly. God bless the soul of the man and so many other people who lost their lives tragedically in the incident, and I sincerely hope that such fire casualty does not happen again in Korea and anywhere else.