사랑하는 아가씨에게 - To my dearest

How many times I wished I had run into you, 아가씨!

I saw you one day going into Shinchon market once;
It was late in the evening in dusk when the the sun was setting, shedding its last rays for the day.
I was walking my way back home from school,
after getting off at a bus stop.
As I was walking by a pharmacy,
I caught a glimpse of you and your Mom walking toward the market;
you were totally oblivious to my presence at that time.
I was standing behind you, watching you...
Your two braided pony tails hair swayed as you walked.
How thrilling the moment it was!
It was a lucky day for me!
All my stifles went away instantly seeing you right there in front of me!
I stood there watching you, walking farther away, moment after moment, until you disappeared into the crowd.
After you were gone, I stood there still watching the path that you just walked on.
From that day on, I always took the path to see if luck would strike me again.

My lucky day again!
When I saw you walking down the hill in front of a church, a strand of gentle breeze was blowing upon your hair. You were wearing a white shirt, and it made color of your shirt flutter like a butterfly. It looked as though a butterfly landed on your shoulder; how beautiful the scenery it was!
Your smile was the sweetest!
What a gorgeous spring day it was!
The moment I caught glimpse of your expression,
I was startled at the thumping sound of my own heart.

In Shinchon Market,  one evening before Christmas,  I caught a sight of you passing by me.
I saw you through the window of the shop.
You were walking with your friends.
You didn't notice that I was inside the shop looking at you.
I could see you smiling without being noticed.
Oh, I have to admit that there was a tug of war within me whether to call upon you.
I told you that you are an angel descended from heaven, and you laughed at me,
but I can still tell you thousand times more!

What a fantastic day it was!
It was early in the morning on a early summer day.
Do you remember?
You were wearing a school uniform with your hair braided in two pony tails as usual.
You were folding a present sitting in front of me when Sunday morning  lights was shining through the window touching your hair soft as silk.
You told me that you like the uniform I was wearing.
Oh! how much I wanted to say to you, " How beautiful you are!"
Oh! How much I wanted to say looking into your eyes,  "I want hold you in my arms!"

Fantastic!
What a thrilling moments it was!
 Who could have arranged the gathering in the midst of our hectic lives other than the angels from the heaven!
You were initially sitting across me,  I remember, you were smiling.
It was in the evening in someone else's house.
You were wearing a white vest underneath a floral designed shirt.
Oh! how happy I was to be able to sit right besides you....My lucky # 6!
I was thrilled. How could one be so lucky as I am!
We sat together right next to each other for more than an hour!!

I caught the sight of you when my yearning for your attention was ever unyielding.
You were passing by while I was climbing a tree at the park.
You saw me on the tree and asked, "What are you doing up there? It's dangerous."
Oh! what a moment that it was! I was so pleased to know that you care about me.
I wanted to come down from the tree and pounce on you!
Had it not been for your friends walking with you!

We share a time together on a fine autumn afternoon.
You were standing on a bridge, taking a picture.
 Your lips turned blue and I was wondering why.
I handed over you my jacket,  and when  you gladly accepted it with a smile.
Oh! what a joyful moment it was!! I just went out of my mind with euphoria!
A devil was jealous of my smile!
The devil's face turned blue!
The devil's stared at me.
And I kept smiling, and the devil yield.
The devil fled.
What a triumph!
The devil ceased to exist on that day!
 The devil will never come upon you!
 I would not trade the moment with a million dollars!
For the triumph. I will blow a trumpet in celebration!
The trumpet sounds will echo through the town, and all people will hear it.
 If the devil had snatched the moment, I would chase after him thousands miles!


I heard your voice coming from compartment of the train we were riding together, heading back to Shinchon on a fine autumn evening; I heard you talking and giggling with your friends.
Yes! Yes! Yes! we were riding together, only ten feet away from each other.
Who could have created such a wonderful moments!
 I was standing on the balcony watching the golden color of rice field, all sparkling golden, waiting to be harvested.
As the train passing by a long stretch of the field, and your voice reverberated tickling my ears as I my face is bombarded with cool autumn breeze coming from the the rice field.
The beautiful panoramic view was breathtaking!
 I want to hear your voice again..that sweet melodious sounds and the beautiful scenery like two butterflies dancing together in mid air!
Who would have known that the melodious sound was a precursor of my endless yearning for you!
On that night, returning home after getting off the train, a tide of yearning for you encroached upon me, making me to walk for miles restlessly.

Do you remember the day I bid you farewell.
We  bumped into each other on the street.
Did I ask you where you were coming from?
Did I say to you, "what a coincidence!"
Oh, I must have been too thrilled to remember any what I asked to you.
I can't remember anything for the walk that would take at least fifteen minutes.
What I was thinking?
 What did you say during the time?
I am so curious to know.
Do you remember?
We've had many coincidences like this; don't you think so?
The weather was hot and the asphalt was melting in the heat, that I remember.
I reached my hand to shake hands with you at the bus stop, and you reached your hand out.
Your hand was as soft as pluffy pillow.
I thought I had said everything I wanted to say to you.
Woe to the weather, robbing my mind.
Alas, who could have thought that there were still myriad of things to tell you, but you already stepped into the bus.
Oh! the damn month of July!
I saw you already walking in the bus to find a seat.
I was caught up watching your hair, your clothes for the last moment...
Oh! why didn't I tell you that I want to take you home. Why? Why? Why?
Oh! I should have pound on the bus to stop at the moment.
I should have hopped on the bus and kept you accompany all the way to your home!
I regreted it thousand times!
Oh! how embarrassing it is to your Mom!

골동품이야기-My close encounter with Korean artifacts

When I moved in to Philadelphia in summer of 1992,  I started attending a Korean church where I met Rev. Kim.  One day, during coffee hour,  the reverent came over and asked me whether I would be willing to move into a big house and receive reduced rents in exchange for doing some chores for an old lady living in a big house alone. Since I was young and had great energy to do almost any chores, I took the offer gladly and started thinking about moving out of my apartment which I paid large monthly rents at that time. On Saturday following, I headed out to meet her at her house on a hilltop.

핸손할머니 was an German lady living in suburb of the city.  Her house was located on a hilltop with spacious gravel parking lot which was even in higher elevation. As I was coming out of the car, the panoramic view of the city unfolded with winterly cool breeze in early February. Her house had three tall pillars supporting roof for shade at the entrance and  a big door with a big ornamental door knob. A big light fixture made out of cast-iron painted in black was hanging from the ceiling drawing my attention as it swayed gently back and forth in wind. After pressing the buzzer, I glanced at the long iron chain from which it was hanging with a little apprehension to check that it was securely affixed, as I was waiting for someone to answer the door.

 When the door was opened, an old lady peered. She kept on holding the door knob with her big hand as she spoke, "I have been expecting you. Please come in."  She appeared to has been a very strong and tall lady despite her hunched back. She said "Did you have any trouble finding the place?"  Her voice roared with vitality as she guided me down the hallway. The hallway had many old Asian pictures hung on the walls.  Passing by a reading room, I saw full of books shelved covering all four sides of the wall;  more books were piled up on top of a big mahogany table in the middle of the room, making me to transpose the scholarly demeanor with the old lady with hunched back. Right across from the reading room was a big living room with a dinning table that can seat a dozen people, making coaches at the corner looked a lot smaller than the one I had in my apartment.

As I entered the room, a parakeet in a cage near the entrance fluttered as if she was trying to draw my attention, but my head turned quickly to more paintings and artifacts displayed in the room.  The room was big enough to hold a large banquet and all 4 sided walls had many Asian paintings on display.  As I was starring at the paintings, the old lady asked me to seat.  A large crystal chandelier was hanging from the ceiling, making me feel as though I was in one of the big room at a museum.  She started talking, not in very cordial and amicable way. She told me that hurt her back and she needed a person to help doing chores in the house in exchange for reduced rent.

She told me that her husband passed away ten years ago, and had lived in Korea with her late husband in 60's for almost ten years. However, it seemed to me that she had demeanor of an aristocrat and never had mingled much with ordinary people; she never spoke a word in Korean.  She had love for arts, but not particular interests for Asian, for that matter  in Korean Arts.  Her husband's close affinities with Korean arts  never seemed to have been transpired her. However,  She kept pretty much all the belongings of her late husband; her husband's old books were still in the reading room collecting dust.  It made me to wonder what she is going to do with all the stuff that had been left by her husband, and why she would still hold unto them even after 10 years. Why doesn't she get rid of the big house and move into a smaller house and stay warm instead of  virtually no heat running in the big house.  The cold weather outside made me feeling still cold inside with not much heating in big house.

I moved into her house soon after canceling my tenancy for the apartment I was renting.  On the day, as I   was moving stuff in the house,  she was very concerned of any artifacts or painting would be damaged by moving furniture as they were carried through doors and stairways, and her agitation can be felt as she was standing velegantly very close to the moving furniture ignoring my apprehension that she might get hurt by them. 

My room was in upstairs, one of several rooms; nobody else lived on the other rooms,  so bathroom and a little kitchen on the 2nd floor was used exclusively for my own.  The house was old, but the room was gorgeous with several french doors taking up one entire wall. I put my bed facing the wall so that I can see through the window in the morning sun rising; the lights coming through the window and the whole scenery was beautiful in clear weather.

핸손할머니 never called me for a cup of a tea, so we never had any good conversation. I got to know  more of her through talking with the minister during the coffee hours.  According to the minister,

Her husband was a diplomat from the U.S. Her husband had left her with many artifacts that he brought to the U.S.  The artifacts were hung on every room of the house except my room. Right across the room that I had rented. Several evenings, I went into the rooms on the 2nd floor; there were many artifacts and paintings in the rooms.  The rooms were equipped with buzzer for alerting police department in the event a robbery occurs.

 On windy day, the light fixture would swing making a creepy noise.  The house was over a hundred years old, and the cellar of the house had more artifacts in the storage area with its door locked with dead-bolted lock.  

One day, I saw Chusa's picture hung right at the entrance. I was amazed that the picture was only seen in a text book in poor quality, but it was shown right before my eyes in 30 cm away in real.  I pointed out that the picture is hung very close to the door and anybody can come and easily take it away.  On the next day, I saw that the picture was missing, which baffled me whether it might have been stolen--it was moved away from the entrance father away in a room among with other paintings and artifacts.

Living in that big house alone with 90 years old lady was somewhat a creepy experience when weather  was windy.  The light fixture that was hung from the shade at the main entrance would make creepy sound as wind blew and the thoughts that old lady with all wrinkly face is in downstairs could come upstairs added to the creepiness despite the fact that there had never a moment she came upstairs during my stay in the place.  I had never seen any house keeper cleaning the rooms upstairs either.

Mrs. H was very suspicious of me.  She never invited me for a cup of a tea.  She voice can be loud with no problem and she called me from downstairs and I could still hear her.

One day, she told me that she would go to Germany for several weeks.  Before she had left, a friend of her visited and they talked for several hours; I could hear them talking from my room. The house must had a good acoustic with sound traveling through stairways to upstairs. The old lady didn't ask me to come downstairs to introduce him to me, but I saw him from behind as he was leaving the house on the stairway.  One day before she left, she asked me to water the plants and feed the parakeet. I went into the big room  to get the instruction; she told me to how many times I should water the plants and feed the parakeet and etc. 

After she was gone, the man whom I had seen occasionally dining with the old lady, would come more often during the day when I was not at the house.  Apparently, he was instructed to come to check the house while she was gone.  He came often and he would leave a note every time despite we had never met formally as if he knew me; I supposed that he would even come into my room that is left unlock. whether I had taken any precious artifacts and ran off.  One day, I called up my friends and had a party taking the time M. H has gone as an opportunity.  We had a party over the weekend, so the man did not come.  I showed my friends and show the artifacts to them.  Nobody took any artifacts.

 He would point out in the memo that I had missed feeding the parakeet and watering the plants. He wrote notes and placed on the stairway for me to find them easily.  Mrs. H knew that I could not feed the bird and water the plants during the day, but the man pointed out as if I had stayed during the day.  His intent was to find something to blame for some other purposes, and I started to ignore his comments, letting them pile on the stairway. 

In May, after staying in the house more than several months,  I found a job and I had to move out of the place.  The company paid for moving, so mover came  and put all my belongings in boxes and had them taken away.  After moving into an apartment, I opened the boxes and found a plastic vase came with unwittingly in one of them; an artificial flower.  I put it in the waste basket thinking that what if it would have been had one of her artifacts and she  never new what was missing.   I would think that the man called the cop and hunted me down, and I would have had a difficult time explaining to the police that it was brought over by a mistake of a mover.