Feel-Effect of Racism

It would be interesting how one's experience with racism encountered affect one's emotion and lead to further formulate one's character. I don't think that afflictions of racism would go away easily. it will manifest in some way or another molding the shape of the society exuding distinctive flairs in their culture as here I am writing down and have people to read in order to finger point of those memories to  I have encountered a garden variety of racism living as an Asian in the United States, and certainly I feel that it affected my sense of perception of the world and the surroundings. For instance, I would avoid or reluctant to visit certain places where I have encountered racism, or hard time visiting the places with clear mind without apprehensions.  When I think of racism, the first thing that comes into my mind is being stared at overtly by shop keepers without smiling at me.  I am not a handsome person in Korean standard, but my physique does not seem to any relevance in any minuscule level attracting suspicious stares from the shop keepers. They were not pleasant experiences at all. The worst of it happened on one day afternoon at a store of university where I was attending. I was just killing time off in the store in between two classes.  Apparently, I was followed by an attendant of the store while I was browsing picking stuff up and putting them down.  As I was exiting the store, I was stopped by two tall men, and asked to follow them into a corner room. The manager waiting in the room asked me to take out everything in my pockets to have my body searched.  I took out all my stuff out from my pockets and placed them on a table  as I was asked to by the manager.  When nothing unexpected came out of all my pockets, the store manager then let me go just saying "sorry." I was new to the country at that time, although the incident came as an event that I had never experienced back in Korea, I knew that I had to suck it off and treat it as a mere incident wishing never to happen again brushing myself off at that time: I could not defend myself verbally as I could not speak English well.  However, nowadays, it bugs me making me feel that I should have done something other than merely walking out of the store as if nothing had happened. Although I am feeling regrets once awhile not having thrown a punch at the manager's nose to feel compensated from the humiliation felt, the incident has made an indelible apprehension on my part whenever I go to a store in the U.S.

   Nowadays, the technologies have advanced as stores equipped with many sophisticated surveillance cameras and tens of monitoring devices are equipped in corners of the area around the country.  Before such facilities came about, the horrible stories of under scrutiny of suspicions were prevalent and often broadcast in the media. Such experiences are less likely encountered in major department stores and grocery stores anymore;however, they are still experienced in Mom&Pop stores or in public places where such facilities are not equipped.   Being stared at stores or in public places is not a pleasant experience of which disturbing effect could induce tossing and turning at night lasting couple of weeks, knowing that its spawning  is largely based on casting a dark could over one's head of criminality.  The suspicions often based on faulty reasoning  will not only  impact negatively to the society damaging interracial harmony but also it will breed fears based on biases and damaged trust upon one another.  The advancement in surveillance technologies may have not reduced underlying causes of racism, but, I think, that it has reduced  hassles from racism on superficial level, on daily encounters of various sort, which, in fact, make up large racial glitches that are not reported in newspapers or on television. I would call this as a "feel-effect of racism." Handling the work of the suspicions set aside in a remote secluded area has made a great stride in advancement in surveillance capabilities, which, in turn, allowed reducing the feel-effect of racism, getting fewer wooing nights with steam rising above one's head when one think about how day has past.