In my opinion, the relationship between Korean parents and their children does not evolve in the similar path as their counterparts in the Western World where communication seem to be more open and free, blossoming their relationship as they grow older; I would want to speculate that it's because the time in which the the Korean parents and the children become free for parents in financial matter gets delayed well into their children's adult lives. The Korean society does not encourage achieving financial independence to its young citizen with ample summer jobs or entrephranurships. Furthermore, the parents are more concerned of fulfilling their unfulfilled desire of achieving social recognition sacrificing themselves financially for their children, imposing their children to keep on studying to finish up college or even get higher degree. Therefore, the financial toll that Korean parents have to pay for raising their children tend to be far greater, which can affect their relationships.
Given the societal norms that education is emphasized, Korean parents feel more obligated to take brunt of expenses rearing their children's education until they finish up colleges. Furthermore, their financially burden is even exacerbated by paying good portion of their marriage expense and buying home. The expenses for getting married is quite high in Korea. For instance, for those who don't go to church having to rent a wedding center instead, renting a place for wedding can run up as high as several millions Won just for couple of hours in use.
In the society where welfare system is not well established, this poses problem later in their lives when they need to support themselves; their savings may have already dwindling by the time their retirement kicks in. In that respect, parenting, in terms of finances, becomes an investment on their children, expecting some returns when the children grow up. However, things are not always the case for their children wounded up to be able to support their aging parents due to rising costs of living and children's own lives can throw at themselves with curved balls, not having enough money to support their parents.
This shortage of retirement fund for the parents is also self-created on parents' part; Korean parents often make unrealistic investments on their children. Some Korean parents often don't have good parenting skills, spending lots of money on their children buying clothes, electronics, sending them off to summer schools, and going on vacations with no saving for their future in mind. The parents don't have much educational philosophy established in their mind. They are not good at communicating with their children. For example, it may be that they need $10 for all they need to go to see a movie or buy a CD, but the parents give them $100 or $200 instead. The more they spend money on them, their expectation would rise. Korean parents want their children to go a good college, spending lots of money for hiring tutors, sending them off to camps, without taking time to think what they really need. Korean parents usually think that spending money on children will eventually give them good returns. This is quite different from the counterparts in the western world. For example, there are many American parents act like Korean parents, spending more money than necessary for their children, but they all seem to do that for their own enjoyment, not for their children. The American parents do not anticipate their spending money is for something in return from their children. Generally, American parents would spend less money on their children and try to save money for their retirement.
Because American parents would not spend money without knowing what their children's need are, they ask their children and carry out discussions with their children. So, there is communication in between the parents and children. When their children go to college, they expect their children make their own decisions on spending money. Once they go to college, it's "give and take" come into play between parents and their children. It's parents' job to find out what their children needs are through various means (i.e. gathering during holidays and talking on the phones and etc) and offer whatever the help within their means, also the children also help their parents in such manners; the children start thinking that it's time for them to help out their aging parents; it's a happy coexistence. However, the relationship between Korean parents and their children not often unfold like that: Parents' needs are seldom addressed by their children because they are still burdened by paying high bills for supporting their own kids like their parents.
Given the societal norms that education is emphasized, Korean parents feel more obligated to take brunt of expenses rearing their children's education until they finish up colleges. Furthermore, their financially burden is even exacerbated by paying good portion of their marriage expense and buying home. The expenses for getting married is quite high in Korea. For instance, for those who don't go to church having to rent a wedding center instead, renting a place for wedding can run up as high as several millions Won just for couple of hours in use.
In the society where welfare system is not well established, this poses problem later in their lives when they need to support themselves; their savings may have already dwindling by the time their retirement kicks in. In that respect, parenting, in terms of finances, becomes an investment on their children, expecting some returns when the children grow up. However, things are not always the case for their children wounded up to be able to support their aging parents due to rising costs of living and children's own lives can throw at themselves with curved balls, not having enough money to support their parents.
This shortage of retirement fund for the parents is also self-created on parents' part; Korean parents often make unrealistic investments on their children. Some Korean parents often don't have good parenting skills, spending lots of money on their children buying clothes, electronics, sending them off to summer schools, and going on vacations with no saving for their future in mind. The parents don't have much educational philosophy established in their mind. They are not good at communicating with their children. For example, it may be that they need $10 for all they need to go to see a movie or buy a CD, but the parents give them $100 or $200 instead. The more they spend money on them, their expectation would rise. Korean parents want their children to go a good college, spending lots of money for hiring tutors, sending them off to camps, without taking time to think what they really need. Korean parents usually think that spending money on children will eventually give them good returns. This is quite different from the counterparts in the western world. For example, there are many American parents act like Korean parents, spending more money than necessary for their children, but they all seem to do that for their own enjoyment, not for their children. The American parents do not anticipate their spending money is for something in return from their children. Generally, American parents would spend less money on their children and try to save money for their retirement.
Because American parents would not spend money without knowing what their children's need are, they ask their children and carry out discussions with their children. So, there is communication in between the parents and children. When their children go to college, they expect their children make their own decisions on spending money. Once they go to college, it's "give and take" come into play between parents and their children. It's parents' job to find out what their children needs are through various means (i.e. gathering during holidays and talking on the phones and etc) and offer whatever the help within their means, also the children also help their parents in such manners; the children start thinking that it's time for them to help out their aging parents; it's a happy coexistence. However, the relationship between Korean parents and their children not often unfold like that: Parents' needs are seldom addressed by their children because they are still burdened by paying high bills for supporting their own kids like their parents.
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