나뭇꾼과 선녀- A woodcutter and an angel

                                                                            
A long long time ago when tiger used to smoke with a long bamboo pipe and deer could talk to human,  a young man lived in a mountainous region near Hamhung(in N. Korea) with his mother. Sadly, his father was taken away by a tiger when he was a little boy presumed to have been killed, and he and his mother lived in a small cottage at a foot of a mountain surrounded with a lots of acorn trees. He made living chopping wood and selling them at a market place. The cottage was surrounded with beauty of nature. In spring time, all sorts of beautiful wildflowers would blossom, attracting butterflies fluttering in the air. In summer timer, a stream running nearby would make beautiful sound of water flowing upon big and little rocks on the bed, making the whole place drenched with coolness of summer. The boy grew up in the place listening to the sounds of birds chirping and and owls hooting, smelling the scent of flowers blossoming and watching acorns falling off the trees, which melt his body and soul. Sometimes, in fine weather,  he would lie down on rocks near the stream and looked up in the sky watching clouds moving slowly.  In fall, acorns  and leaves falling down from the trees caressed the young man's heart gently.  When the snow falls in winter time, the mountain covered in snow offered a breathtaking view making the boy to hop outside and walk for a mile as though he was anxious of meeting someone so dear arriving at a distant place in the mountain. However, when the cold wind blew harshly knocking and shaking the little door of his room,  he felt the terrible loneliness and terror encroached upon him; he had no father and he wished that he had someone to hug and cuddle in those wintery windy nights. The life was harsh for the woodcutter in the depth of winter for he could not go out to chop woods in cold weather; as the day length became short for he could get easily lost in the mountain covered in snow. Sometimes, in heavy snow, he and his mom would be cut off from the village for several weeks, but the woodcutter learned how to survive winter with the dry food that was set aside. When the weather gets cold,  he would get the heating started for the room by burning woods in the inlet of Ondol.

On one fine spring day, when the warmth of spring was about to bring the mountain burst into its colorful scenery, while he was chopping wood in the mountain, he came across with a deer caught in branches of trees. The deer's anther was stuck and she could not make herself free. Seeing the scene that the deer was in wedged state, the woodcutter approached gently, but deer would get frightened, and tried harder to free herself up.  The wood-cutter said "Hush, my dear, I am not going to hurt you. I will untangle you and you will be free in a minute."  As the wood-cutter freed the deer, the deer immediately ran up and pranced around, savoring the freedom. The woodcutter chuckled, seeing the deer looked so happy.  After awhile, the deer came back near to the woodcutter who was mindful of cutting wood and said, "I feel grateful to you that you saved me." The wood-cutter said "You're welcome." The deer then said, "Why didn't you capture me? I could be made to a nice feast." The woodcutter replied, "If I kill you and carry you with me, the tiger would come after me. Besides, you are much too heavy for me. I can barely carry the wood has been chopped off for the day." The deer told the woodcutter, "Well, I want to thank you for saving me." Noticing the wood-cutter's pants in needing good mending work, the deer continued speaking to the wood-cutter, "Are you married?" The wood-cutter looked puzzled and asked, "What is married?" The deer replied,"Well, It's forming a new family as one grows into an adult with someone he/she loves like you Dad and Mom. You live with the person have have children together and live until you die." "No, I am not. I am living alone with my mother down at the foot of the mountain," said the woodcutter and pointed his index finger where his house is located.  "Hummn...A young man with no wife," murmured the deer, and deer said to the woodcutter, "I want to thank you for saving me again...I could have been an easy prey of Tiger. I will see you around." and the deer disappeared into the wood.

For the rest of the day, the wood-cutter chopped wood and brought wood to his home, and as he was putting the wood into the barn, he was startled by a deer standing next to the door. It was the very deer whom he had saved this afternoon. The deer said to the wood-cutter, "Thanks for saving me in the wood.  So, in my gratitude, I will give you a piece of information that you might like to hear." and she continued speaking  "My deer friends in the wood told me that there will be angels descending from the heaven on July 7th and descend to the earth by a pond deep in the mountain to take a bath.  After they finish taking the bath, they will return back to heaven." "What do you mean by that?" said the wood-cutter.  "You are not married, and you need a wife, don't you? I am going to help you find a wife under the condition that you're not going to harm me or any of my friend in the wood. Will you promise me that?" said the deer. "Yes, I can promise that, but I can't not afford to live in this house with another person since I don't have any large room to share with her," said the wood-cutter.  "Don't worry. My friends in the forest will take care of that. All you have to do is following my instruction," and the deer laid out instructions to the wood-cutter, " On the evening, at 7:00 PM, the angels will descend from sky and they will take off their clothes to take a bath. You are to sneak upon them and steal one of their clothes while they are taking a bath.  Once you take a cloth, you're to hide it some place where she can not find it, don't let anybody know of this." The deer said, "The pond is located deep in the mountain over there; it is not the same mountain you go to chop wood," and the deer gave him detailed information where the pond was located.  After giving the information, the deer said, "Good Luck," and the deer scurried away into the forest.

When the much anticipated day arrived, the wood-cutter told his mother that he will be coming home late and he embarked on his journey carrying extra rice balls and straw shoes that had been prepared on the forthnight.  He left home at the dawn and he walked miles and miles climbing up the mountain until he reached the pond in the afternoon. He sat under a tree and eat one of the rice balls along the way. The weather was very nice.  When he reached the pond, the cool breeze was blowing taking away sweats and made him fall fast asleep.

He woke up as the sun was setting in the western sky with a glow of its golden lights; he was awaken by a bout of cold breeze and giggling voices heard coming a far.  Listening human voices was strange to him in the deep mountain for he had never heard or met anybody in the wood before.  The only sounds that he were familiar with were sound of water dripping on branches of trees or flowing in creeks, or rustling sound of tree branches being swayed in winds, or birds' chirping sound echoing in the valleys.

Darkness soon fell in the forest and a bright full moon was shinning upon the pond.  The woodcutter came out and walked toward the place where the sound was coming.  As the sound became much clearer, the woodcutter reached very close to them, blocked by little trees. As he parted the branches, he saw a bunch of ladies taking bath in a pond. The pond was hidden in a densely wooded area, which was surrounded by trees and bushes.  The wood-cutter saw the angels taking a bath under moonlight afar. The moonlights were so bright and the water was sparkling like golden necklace. The woodcutter was mesmerized with the beauty of the scene. The woodcutter noticed that their clothes had been left on wood branches nearby.  The wood-cutter lower himself and crawled to the tree without making any sound and took one of clothes hanging on lowest branch of the tree as the deer told him so. As soon as grabbing the clothes, he scurried away quickly not be be seen.  The wood-cutter then moved away from the area to a spot where he had been waiting, hiding from them.  After the angels had finished taking the bath, they all came to the tree and one by one took their clothes and got dressed.  As they completed getting dressed, they waited for others to finish up getting dressed.  Suddenly, one of the angels said, "Where is my clothes? It's missing. I am sure I hanged 'em here," and she was looking around the area. Upon hearing this, all the other angels started searching for the missing clothes in surrounding area thinking that wind might had blown it away and it can be found easily.  Contrary to their thinking, the clothes could not be found. When it came to no avail, the angels grew anxious. It past a long time since their giggling at the pond. The older angels told the youngest, "Since you can't come with us without the clothes, we are to leave you here alone. You can come later after finding the cloth. Father will be mad if we are late." The angels formed a circle holding hands to each other and flew up to heaven, leaving the youngest angel alone. As the angels were ascending to heaven, the youngest remained on the ground feeling dejected and started crying in despair.

The woodcutter was watching them behind a boulder and came out after watching them disappeared into complete darkness, massaging his sore neck.  He walked back to the pond. As he was approaching,  he heard the sound of someone sobbing. He parted the branches to peer in the very spot where he had stolen a clothes. He saw a young girl crying, as the deer told him, unable to return back home.  He waited until the angel stop crying, but her crying would never stop. So, he decided to show himself up. As the woodcutter came out, the angel was frightened and stopped crying.  The woodcutter asked her why she was crying as if he knew nothing of the cause. The angel told him that her clothes that was left on the tree branch was blown away by wind, and it was nowhere to be found.  As the night fell deeper in the forest, the woodcutter told her that he would help finding the clothes when the lights return tomorrow, and asked her to come along with him and stay at his house for the night. The woodcutter took off his jacket and put on the angel's shoulder as it was getting colder in the mountain. The angel followed the woodcutter and they went down the mountain. The friends of deer helped them guiding the way down in the dark by chirping and hooting sound. The woodcutter asked the angel,"Are you feeling cold?" The angel replied,"No, not really." It was a balmy night as they were coming down the mountain. There were myriad of stars twinking in the sky as though they were cheering the two.  When they reached a platau, moon was getting brighter and the angel's beautiful face was shone on the moonlight. The woodcutter had goose bumps all over his body as her teary eyes sparkled in the reflection of the moon. The woodcutter could not resist his feeling to her hand, and he felt as though a bolt of lightening had just hit on his head.

When they safely arrived to the wood-cutter's house, the wood-cutter's mother greeted him; she was still wide awake waiting for his son who had not returned to home. As the mother staring at the path in the wood, she saw her son trudging in the dim moonlight and she was relieved to see his son in good shape. The mother was surprised to see his son carrying someone on his back. The mother ushered them into the room.  The mother quickly ran out of the room and brought some water for them to drink.  The girl from the heaven looked tired after sobbing at the lose of her clothes and she took a sip of the water.  The woodcutter told everything about how the girl led to coming his home except the part that he hid the girl's cloths. With much delights, the woodcutter's Mom felt a great joy that his son finally has a wife. The woodcutter's Mom prepared a dinner for them. As the night fell into the forest, owls were hooting and crikits were humming. The woodcutter laid out bedding on the floor for bedding and asked the girl to lay down on Yo. As the girl lay down, the woodcutter cover her body with Yibul to keep her warm. As she was laying down, the stream by the house played the music of cacophony in the darkness.  The angel fell asleep, but the woodcutter could not fall asleep with all the excitements. All the things happened this afternoon at the mountain seemed unreal to me, and he went out and to get some fresh air.

                                                                            II

The woodcutter went out and sat by the water scream nearby his house. The bright moonlights was shining showed him the way to the stream. While he was gazing at the sparkling water stream, he was startled by a voice of the deer whom he had spoken yesterday. The deer told to the woodcutter, "You should never give her clothes back, and my friends will build a place right next to your house so that you can live together with the angel," and the deer left into the wood. A flash of thought went across his mind that the angel is still sleeping in the room. The woodcutter quickly went back into the room to find that everything is still real, and finally sucumbed to falling into sleep, unable to resist overload of fatigue. He slept a long hours, and he had dreams of the angels in the heaven crying for their lost younger sister. when he woke up, it was a dusk; he felt refreshed. He looked around, but he could not find her next him. So,  he went out looking for the angel. He went into the wood nearby, and he found the angel crying in the wood.  The woodcutter carried her back in the room and laid her on the Ondol floor.

As night turned day many times, the angel was still feeling sad and terrible homesick; she would not eat and speak. Seeing her in this situation, tihe woodcutter had to make empty promises that he would go back to the pond and look for the clothes. Each morning, as he left home, he lied to her that he would look for the missing clothes. The woodcutter thought about her and how to change her so that she can be happy and make her staywith him.

The woodcutter came up with all sorts of ideas; he tried to entertain the angel by making himself walk on sticks; he made a mask and danced in front of her, but none of them could make the angel smile. The woodcutter thought of an idea throwing a party. He invited lots of people  in the market place and neighboring town came over to see the angel. The woodcutter danced and his mother was happily serving the guests with food and drinks. There were people playing musical instruments, and the whole feast and the activities seemed slowly cheering the angel up.  When the angel first smiled, the woodcutter was the first one to noticed that and he thought that his plan seemed to be working allright. Thereafter, the woodcutter enjoyed the time with the angel.

On one morning, when the woodcutter woke up, he found that a nice addition built next to his house overnight.  The addition had a room and a barn, that filled with many bags of rice, corn, barley, chestnut, that he did have to work for years. In the room, there were furniture including a nice dresser. The woodcutter had never received such thing, and he shouted to his mom overjoyed. The woodcutter's mom was delighted to have a new barn that was filled with crops for her family to consume for years.

As days went, the angel's face started slowly turning brighter and she seemed to be enjoying the family she was staying with. The woodcutter was nice to her and his mother was happy to have a daughter-in-law too. Both of them felt great comfort in having her around. The woodcutter taught her how to read and write. The angel was quick to learn what has been taught, she even learn how to prepare meals and how to do chores helping out her woodcutter's mom. Most of time, the angel showed happy face to them, but once a while, the woodcutter caught flash of sadness in her face.  Sometimes, she was found in the wood crying alone, and the woodcutter had to bring her back home.

 As the days went by, the angel was pregnant and delivered fine twin babies. Seasons changed and years went by and the angel delivered two babies for the woodcutter;  the woodcutter and his mother were very happy.  The five people enjoyed living together. The woodcutter watched the babies growing and he took them to the wood to show the deer and his many other animal friends in the forest. The babies grew into toddlers and walked in the wood playing with deers and their friends. The woodcutter could not believe how happy he and his mother have become. The angel weaved nice clothes for woodcutter's mom, and the old lady was delighted having her as a daughter-in-law. They planted sweet potato and eat in summer. The the backyard, stalks of sweet corm were growing fast, and they harvested it and eat together.  The boys went to the stream and caught fish with their father while their mom was preparing for the dinner.

The happy days were going without stopping until one day, the woodcutter's mom had died all of a sudden of her old age. The woodcutter's family bid her farewell and buried her nearby the house. The angel did not know the meaning of death for she had never experienced where she came from. The angel watched the woodcutter's mom being buried and saw the sad expressions on the woodcutter.  Woodcutter told her that humans are mortal, and the dead body has to be buried.

On the day, after he was very druken, and he inadvertently said what happened to her clothes to his wife. He murmuered that he was the one who hid her clothes. The secrete that he hid so long and jumped out and reververated, thinking that his wife would not be able to go back as she have a family on earth. The angel asked the woodcutter,"Where is the clothes?" The woodcutter responded,"it is hidden in one of the jars in the barn," and he fell on the floor soundly sleeping. After hearing what the woodcutter said, the angel rushed out and hurridly went into the barn and started searching for the porcelain jar that the clothes is stored; she opened up all the lids until she found one empty.  She drew a candlelight inside the jar and found her old clothes inside the jar sitting at a corner.  With much delights, the angel took it out and brought it inside the house into her room where the woodcutter and her two boys were sleeping soundly.  On that night, the angel could not go to sleep for she had been thinking that her clothes was lost forever and she could not go back home all along, and now it was no longer hold true. She tried putting it on at the great urge to go back home, but then she took it off seeing her boys sleeping with their father. Then, she took off the clothes and put it away. On the following day, the angel pretended that nothing has happened and continued doing her usual activities taking care of the boys.  The woodcutter was saddened by his mother's death, and completely forgotten what he had said to his wife last night.  The woodcutter had a fuzzy memories of what he had said to his wife, and asked her "Did I said something out of ordinary last night?" To the question, the angel said, "No nothing extraordinary, my dear." On the next day, the woodcutter was still quite not sure whether he had confessed to her the secret of the clothes, and asked the angel, "Did I say something extraordinary the night beforere yesterday?" To the question, the angel said,"No my dear, you did not say anything extraordinary. Just go to sleep." At nights, the angel could not sleep at the thought of finding her clothes back for she missed her family in heaven. One night, she took out the clothes from the dresser and put on the clothes that she had lost at the pond. And then started writing a letter to her husband.


                                                                           III

         Dear my husband,
    
          I am from heaven, and I had been curious to find out what kind of life the people on earth lead,
          and it has been such a pleasure living with you for the past several years.
         The unfortuate incident of losing my clothes led to finding my love on earth, that I will always
          cherish in my heart.
         It has been such sweet time in my life with you.
         I will miss you...And I will cry missing you.
         I will take our sons with me, and I'll take a good care of them.
         I  know that you will miss them very much.
         I'll ask my father so that  you could come join us in the heaven.
         I wish that you stay healthy and strong until we meet again.


After finishing writing the letter, the angel left it by the woodcutter's hand. Then, the angel went into her children's room and held her two sons, one on her back in Podegee and other son on her arm. She walked to outside in the front yard. The angel looked to the room where the woodcutter was sleeping and she closed her eyes. and tears started flowing on her eyes.  After a while, the angel, along with sons were lifted in air and started asending to the sky. As they were ascending, the moonlights were shining brighter as if showing the way. Owls hooted at the scene waking up sleeping animals in the forest.

                                                                  IV

The angel ascended to heaven taking her two sons that night. In the morning, the woodcutter saw the letter and found out that she had left with his two sons.  The woodcutter was dejected and filled with sorrow.  The woodcutter spent two years living in the cottage alone solely missing the angel and his sons.

One day, a letter was dropped in his Tetmaru.  It was sent from her wife in haven:

     Dear my husband,
  
     I know that you are well.
     Your sons are doing fine.
     I miss you.
     I told my father about the time I had spent on earth, and I've been given a permission to have you
     come to the heaven to join us.
     However, it will not happen right away; you have to wait thirty years from now.
     When the time comes, I'll let you know.
     For the mean time, I hope that you don't think of us too much of us,  and live your life normally as if we haven't met each other.
     I hope that your live happily while you are on the earth.

     Love,
     Dal-Ah

Upon reading the letter, the woodcutter beamed with joy. The letter gave him a tremendous hope that he will be meeting his wife again.

The woodcutter kept the the letter in dresser, and read ever so often, whenever he felt like to read.

From then on, even in cold wintery nights, the woodcutter would never feel lonely.

The friends in the wood helped him and he never had to sleep without heat.

In his dream, he saw the angel in his dream with his sons all smiling.

When he woke up, he was surprised that Ondol floor was hot; someone had heating started.

The strange thing is that the people in the distant village never mentioned about his old wife and his

 sons as if nothing had happened to him; they all treated him as if he were the very boy who grew up

in the place with his old mother; nobody asked him any his personal questions.

The woodcutter lived the next thirty years selling the woods living in the same cottage.

When he reached 55 years old, a letter was dropped on the floor.  He opened up the letter, and it says that:


Dear My husband,

It is time we meet again.
On the July 7, you are to go up in the pond and wait for a bucket coming down from sky.
You're to wait at the very spot where we met together.
At 7 O'clock, there will be a bucket attached to a rope will be descended from the heaven.
You're to hop in the bucket.
The bucket is small, and don't carry anything with you.

The woodcutter had gray hair and his face was wrinkly.  When the day arrive, the woodcutter
embarked on the journey like the day when he met the angel.  He thought of his mother who
had prepared fist rice.

At 7 O'clock, a bucket was descended as the letter was written, and he hopped in the bucket.
The bucket was then slowly lifted going up and up.  As he was ascending, he saw the western sky glowing in all sorts of hue, and he saw his old cottage and he saw deers standing in the front yard.


The woodcutter met his wife and his sons and lived a very happy life for 700 years.

My memories of a church

       Although I was not born in a Christian family, church's sphere came into my life in my early age. As Korea has been influenced by major religions around the world, I get to go to a religious place started off with a Buddhist temple nearby my house in Shinchon following my grandmother in a hot summer day in end of July. As many Koreans would experience living in Korea, religious experiences come with visiting the temples and churches. And Christianity has particular attraction to young people with its steeple over looking the town in hilltop or in a busy section of the town.  Nearby my home, there was a steel bell tower with its bars crisscrossed.  A bell was hung at the top and it stood tall near the main entrance to the church with a long rope hanging low allowing for saxsony to full and ring the bell.  The front gate was painted in beige which was always left open ajar even on the weekdays.  On Sundays, I could see students entering the church wearing in school uniforms. On a cold day, as I was riding in a bus, a sight of a man who was about to strike the bell was caught in my eyes; he was walking toward the town and then bent his chest as he was reaching the end of rope to ring the bell. Steam was bellowing out from his mouth in cold weather. 

      Around the time when my grandmother's health was in precipitous fall, my grandmother spent much time laying in her room. Once awhile, several elderly ladies from this church were making visits to give spiritual comfort in Christian faith. The ladies sang hymns for half an hour in her room. Everyone carried a large black leather bag, and one of the ladies had stooped back.  My grandmother had never attended a church. In fact, and yet she was clinging to Christian faith as her health deteriorated precipitously.  I often heard them singing hymns while playing outside near her room oblivious to the depth of her illness. As some hymns were sung repeatedly, I picked up the melodies, and that was my second time in my life encountering with religiosity. 

However, the first time I ever stepped into a church came a year later after she passed away, tagging along with my friend, Kyung-june, who lived in my neighborhood. The church was located farther away and it had a long steeple with a lightening rod at the top; it located on a hilltop, taking 20 minutes of walk along the 연세로, a straight path that is shared by Shinchon Church and many shops and restaurants.

    
    Several paths lead to the church from my house, but shortest one was by passing through a small ghetto neighborhood, which was along a segment of embankment(교외선) that stretched out.  It is not clear to me when this neighborhood came about for I had never played nor passed by in this part of the town, but it perhaps was formed as early as  years before I was born due to people were seeking shelters after the war. There was hardly any crackdowns of making illegal residency in any place in 60's and 70's for town officials knew lack of housing available at that time.  The narrow path stretched out along the railroad embankment for 100 yards with makeshift houses aggregated along the path with no spacing in between. The front doors were facing a long narrow pathway with no pavement. The roofs of houses were installed with green plastic slates to reduce the weight, eliminating possibility of collapse on the shoddy construction. The roofs stretched out irregularly above permeating green sunlight on sunny days like a greenhouse. In rainy days, the place turned dark with no street lights, walking on the path more tratchourous. The path was not paved and leveled off, with part of it had clay sewer pipe exposed above the ground. Even on sunny days, the uneven unpaved ground made my eyes focuse on taking the steps.  

    Getting to the church, I used to take this path on sunny days and took a detour on cloudy days.  On some rainy Sundays when I forgot to take the detour, it posed a bit of challenge walking down the path with rain dripping down heavily from the roofs causing the uneven ground very slippery.

     Although my house was located away from the place, the neighborhood and my house were demolished as part of a project to widen the road nearby in early 80's. I visited the place in the summer of 1987, eleven years after after, and saw the widened road and a expanded the bus stop nearby.

      As I walked out of the neighborhood, a sigh of relief would come out thinking that the remainder of my excursion to the church would mainly be treats to my eyes seeing goods displayed on show windows of shops.  The church is located on a hilltop with its steeple that hold up a cross. Taking a left turn at a bookstore,     the church was about 50 meters from the bookstore. The hill was paved, but it posed a bit of challenge for anyone walking up and down on winter when snow comes. The concrete pavement is made with many heavy horizontal lines marks to give traction for people walking up and down the hill. On summer days, sweat ran through my black school hat after walking up the hill, prompting me to take it off out of breath by the time reaching the the main door.  On snowy winter days, the hill becomes quickly slippery as snow trodden by people. People would walk gently like a tortoise and yet still scenes of one or two people falling down with thump creating a bravado drawing attention to passerby. 

 I went to this church first time through Kyung-june in primary school. He lived in a house in my neighborhood with a large front yard with wild flowers growing.  I remember peeking into his a small front door calling him out to play with me.  The front door of his house had a small aluminum plate affixed - a a small cross pained in red, which tells the name of the church that his family goes to.

    
When I think about how I ended up going to this church, Kyung-june comes into my mind. On one summer day afternoon in August, Kyung-june and I had a little argument, and I accidentally kicked his groin. All of a sudden, he dropped down on his knee crying in pain. I was standing there waiting him to stop crying, but his crying grew louder and louder and would never die down. The incident took place right outside the wall of his house, and the thought of his mom coming out in any minute listening to the sound of her child’s crying scared me. . I was thinking, “Should I stay or leave the scene?” I asked that question to myself several times before finding myself running up the hill besides his house that led to the entrance of my house. I slammed the front door shut behind me and then drew the iron bar making a screeching noise to lock the door, ramming into my room out of breath. Closing the door immediately, I opened a big dresser for keeping blankets and jumped up on top of layers of blankets and close its door. In the dark, I could hear my heart thumping, wishing that the problem would just go away on its own. How could the situation got suddenly turned into tupsy tubby! At age 5, this incident was registered in my mind as first situation in my life that I dragged myself into a pit and then wished that somehow the problem would go away on its own magically by simply burying my head in sand.  Unfortunately, after a while, I could hear his mom knocking on the door and then I could clearly hear her voice as well as my mom and my grandmother. Listening to the tone of her voice, I naturally assume that she came to complain about the incident, and my heart was thumping at the same time I was trying to figure out how much she was upset.  I was trying to calculate the distance from where I was and to the approximate position where she would be standing at the moment in the yard, and whether the loud voice of her was due to the distance or the degree to which she had been upset.  Apparently, My Mom and my grandmother must have heard the front door getting slammed shut and screeching sound of the iron bar being drawn and sensed that I have done something wrong outside, and they were intuitively expecting something about to happen. My grandmother and my Mom apologized to her and promised to her that it will never happen again.  For some reason, my grandmother was not mad, but she told me that I should treat others kindly with respect. Furthermore, she told me that I shouldn’t have run away from the incident, instead face the situation by taking the boy to his home and apologizing to both the boy and to his mom, and asked me to go to his house and make the apologies.  Realizing that the flames have subsided after she visited my home, I went to his house and pressed the buzzer.  The dog was barking loud getting me a bit scared.  When his mom came, I said, ”I am sorry kicking him.”

On a Christmas Eve, he took me to the church where his family goes. The church gave me a box of crayon as a Christmas gift, which I took home quite happily. At times, I was wondering why the church would give stuff for free to children, and I thoughts that the church gives away things for free made me to think fondly about going to church, and decided to go with him.  I continued to go to church past Easter Sunday on the following year and even brought home several eggs that I have painted during the Sunday School hour and showed them to my brother. One Sunday afternoon, we played running around the churchyard, chasing each other. On one Sunday, after service, we played a chase game, and I went through an opened window and was caught by a maintenance personnel as I was squeezing my self though an opened window.  He pulled my shirt from behind keeping me from going through; he gave me a stern warning not to go through the window. I stopped going to the church after the incident for mild fear of running into the man again.


Kyung-june’s Dad passed away all of a sudden when he was in primary school. It was my first time that I had ever experienced someone in the neighborhood died, and the notion of death slowing entered into my consciousness -Earlier I had encountered a death of my dog; my uncle had put the dog in a sack and carried away to be buried in a nearby mountain.  I often saw his dad, coming out from his house calling out his son’s name asking him to come in for dinner while we were playing outside late in the evening. Passing by his house, I momentarily peeked into his house through a small door ajar to find the empty front yards that nothing but exuded eerie quietness. The thought that his dad was no longer with us made me feel strange. Thereafter, we never played together often.  Soon, my friend’s family moved out of the town renting one smaller room on a house up on a hillside of the 와우산(Mt. Wawoo) in a neighboring town. I remember visiting him several times after school. There was a big shrine with red wooden pillars long the way that I had to pass to get to his place, which must have been built during Yi Dynasty. I didn't know when and why the shrine was built for.  The windows of the shrine had windowpanes made out of rice paper. I was trying to see what might be inside through many holes of the rice papers torn apart, but I did not dare to come closer looking at the hideous looking tree next made me feel scared, feeling thankful that it was not dark in the evening.

I was brought up in a family where old things are supposed to be treasured.  My father collected antiques and kept them well in boxes and put in attic. It was sad to see that the shrine would soon be demolished for a construction project. Even to my young eyes, I was hard pressed to think that old treasures would get destroyed with no regards.

His room had a small desk where he could sit and do study. I could not believe that the family’s economic condition had suddenly become worse.  I saw his small desk with books on top sitting in the room while we were talking.  He didn't look cheerful, so I asked him that we go out to play. We went to see his new school nearby his home, in which several big boulders were found, so we climb on top and jumped off repeatedly until we grew tired. That was my last time I shared with him.  After graduating from the elementary school, and I stopped visiting him. My beginning of the middle school, my fear of meeting the maintenance personnel was gone, and I went to the church several times hoping to meet him, but I could not  meet him anymore. For some reason, the thought of visiting his house again never occurred to me.

In my 1st year in High School before Christmas, after my parents and my younger brother had left to the US, I started going to church again. I know that I would not be able to meet Kyung-june, but my memories of the church from earlier visits had made me to go the church on regular basis. I got to know a group of young people in Youth Group instead. This was my very first time I became acquainted with many people in my neighborhood- whom I had seen before, but never we talked with each other- all at once with an exception of a boy whom I was sitting together with him when I was in 3rd grade in primary school.  Starting 3^rd grade, boys and girls were segregated sitting in different classrooms, and he was my first boy whom I had to share the seat together. His name was “형일” and his voice was changed quite different in husky tone after going throug puberty. We studied bible together, and some students threw a hard questions to a youth minister. The Youth group had its own service held in a small gathering place besides the main sanctuary with its door had a wooden sign.  The sign was nailed at the top above the entrance door with a word "미디안."  I was often confused the name of the place with the German novel "데미안," and my knowledge bible was still limited puzzling over the name of the building, “미디안."  A small organ was placed near the pulpit." Sometimes, when I arrive at the church early, I tried to make some sound when nobody was around.  Once 현선 came into the meeting place and saw my playing with it, and I would get embarrassed and took my hands off immediately and scurried away finding my seat. 현선 is about my age, played the organ every Sunday during service.

I knew her name fairly early for her name appears on the worship program. She wore a high school uniform with a bright white color that looked as though it had just been washed. We met every Saturday afternoon after school as the youth choir practiced songs for Wednesday service. Her father was an elder of the church, wearing a dark glasses.  Her father often attended Wednesday services that the youth choir sung during the services. Once, he came upon us while we were all sitting, practicing a hymn called “Over the Jordan River”; he pointed out that our selection of the hymn was not good and asked not to sing the hymn during the service since “Jordan River” means death in biblical context as lights shone through the windows reflected on his glasses distracted my eyes.  The elder was a professor of the university where my father had graduated from, and he was professional acquaintance of my father; they traveled together to attend conferences. Once I saw him with my dad in a picture that my father kept in a pile. When I asked my Dad whether he knew, he told me that the photo was taken when he went to Jeju island along with him many years ago while he was attending in a conference. I remember the day my Dad coming from his trip to Jeju island, bringing a newspaper with his picture on it. The newspaper put my Dad’s picture along with description of him in  “Visitor of Week to Jeju Island” column. My mother read the column and bewildered by a misprint made in the column; it said that my Dad has six children instead four children, and my Mom asked my father whether he as any illegitimate sons or daughter that he was hiding from her.

Rev. Hong was a young minister who preached on Sunday. He participated in various youth activities including bible studies. I had never seen wearing casual clothing except one time I had visited his home when he was living an apartment nearby the church.   He administered both the adult services and the youth group services on Sunday and when he could not find time to administer the youth group services, a college student, Mr. Lee, often led Youth Group Sunday Services.  The youth leader was attending a college in Shinchon, and he often wore a baseball hat and a worn-out military walker.  We didn’t talk in great deal, and I wasn’t quite sure whether he was official a youth group leader, but he participated in many youth activities at that time, which included publishing yearly magazine, singing hymns in the hospital’s corridors on Saturday evening for cheering up patients there, and participating in discussions that were often carried out in 벝엘.  I had impression that he wanted to be a minister.

My job at the church in 2^nd year of high school was to hand out birthday gift to the fellow young parishioners. Of all the years I had gone to churches, this was the most memorable job that I had ever held in church.  I don’t have recollection exactly how I ended up doing the task. During the service, before a sermon started, a brief session was held in congratulating people who have birthday in the forthcoming week. The people were called out and asked to come in front, and small gifts were handed out to them followed by singing “Happy Birthday To You.”  I was paired up with 현선, who played organ.  Basically, 현선 was in charge of buying the gifts and all I had to do was calling out the names in the list that she prepared and and the gifts out to them as they come out near to the pulpit. 현선 made sure that presents were ready for coming Sunday service.  All I had to do was to meet her at the building called “벝엘”, across from “미디안”, 15 minutes prior to start of the Sunday service and wrap the presents with her. 현선 would lay out the gifts and scissors and wrapping paper, and we would get started wrapping the presents.  She came to the church wearing her school uniform with her hair braided in two ponytails, one on each side of her head. She handed out a list of the names to be called out to me. We all had to wear school uniform to attend the services. My school had its summer uniform recently changed with new modern design, which I did not like that much.
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The youth group went to a summer retreat. Everybody got on the bus and headed out. It was during the monsoon season, rain was pouring as we were heading to a primary school that was rented. The school was in outskirt of Seoul, which took more than an hour by bus to get there. Fortunately, it stopped raining when we arrived. We prepared for dinner and had a nice meal.  In the evening, we circled around a bonfire and sang hymns. We sang so many hymns on that evening, that I learned so many hymns. I brought a tent that my father brought from his trip to the US and pitched it outside in the yard while dinner was getting ready, but rain started coming and it continued making it impossible to sleep in the tent. I saw the tent was standing all day long in rain. The day before we left, sun popped up drying things up, and I was able to pack the tent to take it home.  In the evening after it became dark, we gathered around a bonfire and sang hymns for a long time. The girls were sitting together and I could see her face in the light. On the way back, the bus was crowed, and my pants got ripped exposing my knees. I could hear 현선 talking with her friends in the bus on the other end.

It's not clear when I first came across with her. She told me that she remembers when I was in middle school, but I visited the church only several times during my middle school years.  One day we went to a party that was held in one of our friend's house. We played a game together. We did drawing to pair ourselves up for the game. I had paired up with her choosing number six and sat next to her feeling groovy for the whole time.

On a late autumn day, the youth group went to a picnic in 장흥, which is about 40 miles north of Seoul. We all took a train ride to get there. She was cheerful and seemed to be enjoying the picnic with free of worries and trifles.  On the way home, we all took a photo standing on a suspended bridge for walking over a stream making loud noise churning.  The picture shows her nice smile with teeth. She had two ponytails as usual, wearing a white blouse with dots. We gathered around a public swimming pool that has been emptied out for the season and sang songs with strumming of a guitar. During the break, I climbed up a tree to see a view from the top, and I saw 현선 and her friends walking passing by the tree. I dropped a little good luck charm so that it would land in front of her.  The good luck charm was missed by an inch falling behind of her. 현선 turned around and picked it up and threw it back to me several times.  When I still missed catching it, she said, “I will take it!” and walked away.    The train ride back home was breathtaking as the train moved continuously along rice paddies, glistening in golden lights reflected from evening sun setting on the horizon. The lights shining blanketed vast area as if sea of golden rice were dancing in breeze.  It was mesmerizing view to watch, sitting on a deck of the train with cool autumn breeze hitting hard on my face.  I could hear 현선’s voice coming from the cabin talking with her friends, and cool autumn breeze was blowing in through the opening where I was sitting. I was breathing in and breathing out the cool autumn air occasionally turning my head away from the wind blowing to catch a breath. The thought of my good luck charm is now in the 현선’s possession made strong attachment to her…then with feeling of great sense of comfort, I was thinking about what my parents’ lives like in the US. Once we got off the train arriving at 신촌역, 현선 handed out my good luck charm and I said that she could keep it if she wants. She put it back in her purse and said, “Thank you.” We all walked to our church and bid goodnight. My body was aching from walking all day long and I had no trouble falling asleep on that night.

  In wintertime, a number of big oil burners were installed in the main sanctuary providing heat for parishioners during services.  The church had balcony to provide more seating. In the fall of that year, there were more choir activities in preparation for the upcoming “Hymnal Worship”, an annual event held by the Youth group choir, inviting youth in the neighborhood and their friends to join a worship listening to hymns sung by the youth group choir.  I prepared signs for the event and posted on the bulletin board in front of the church. I had a bout of chill running down on my spine on the way back after posting them on the bulletin board and I stopped by a pharmacy and bought a liquid cold/flue medicine and drank up half of the bottle without reading the instruction for dosage. The medicine contained alcohol, and the effect of it soon took over, and I staggered walking back home, feeling drunken.

One a cold snowy day, I saw her walking down the hill in front of the church with her parents after service was over.  All of a sudden, she slipped and felt down hard. She was wearing a dark blue overcoat and the snow mark was on her buttock.  I quickly walked to her and asked her “Are you alright?” and then reached my hand to lift her up.  As my hand was reached out to her, she blushed and hold my hand.  I greeted to her parents and made my way taking a detour having to avoid the situation walking with her parents out of embarrassment.

Couple of days before I was leaving the country,  I met 현선 quite by an accident on the way home.  The encounter her when I was walking with a friend. I met her half a way to home from the church.   My friend probably told her that I would be leaving the country to meet my parents in the U.S. We stopped at the bus stop nearby my home and waited for a bus. When the bus arrived, I reached out my hand to shake her hand...that was my last time I ever saw her.

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잊지못한 한국의 멋-The most memorable things I experienced in Korea

1. The old tomb on the hill

Everybody have things that they cherish in their memories.  I recently found a wrist band that my new born baby had worn when she first arrived to this world. It was marked with name of my daughter's name, and as she was being taken out from the hospital, I cut it off and put it in a glove compartment of my car. Apparently, I had left it there for more than a decade. The wrist band has gotten deteriorated, but it made me to reminisce when she was a tiny baby.  My memories about my grandmother is not so much since she passed away when I was very little, but her death prompted activities that coincided when my sensitivity to surrounding was running the most deepest, which gave me indelible impressions about Korea, and here is how:

My grandmother's grave is located several miles away from the Puckjae Train Station which is one and a half hour train ride from ShinChon Train Station located in the town where I had lived in my childhood.  On every Chusok holiday, our whole family and relatives visit the place walking in rustic rural area on a fine autumn day enjoying the cool crispy weather and the scenery.  The actual time for the ritual at the alter would not take no more than two hous, but the time spent getting ready, getting there, spending time briefly near the place and coming back home took chunk of the time for the day. The mode of transportation medium used visiting her place had changed over years- train, bus, truck, and car- but earliest times when I went there was, about 6 years old, taking an hour train ride from ShinChon Train Station. After getting off at Bukjae Train Station, we walked more than an hour taking rests along the way. Taking train and walking to and from her place had been the most exhilarating experience to me. Back then, Puckjae was considered a rural farming area, remote place from Seoul, where you could see farm houses and rice paddies. The train station was a well representation of that rustic atmosphere with its small size and with only couple of  wooden benches in the waiting area seemed to be waiting achingly for someone to sit on. As we come out of the train station, we were greeted by farmer's carriage truck passing by flaring up dust from unpaved path. And as the dust settled, a view of rice paddies in golden yellow strateched out in front of us. Walking along the narrow path in between the rice paddies with sunlights shinning on the grains of rice getting ripen in the midst of autumn atmosphere, listening to cicada humming in the midst of rice paddy in the mid afternoon, and watching sun-setting with golden reflection on rice paddy had woven into my psyche in early childhood-of which longing would never ceased to exist in my life.

Nonetheless, there were several other things that spurred up my curiosity along the way that was not just amusement: tumbling down a hill, that was encountered along the way, was one of the most exhilarating experiences I've ever had. It was like a scientist finding a new discovery. The moment I saw the hill as we trudged along a narrow path by a rice paddy, I yelled out, "Look!, a hill,"  top of my lung, and then all the young cousins suddenly took off their backpacks and rushed toward the hill. As we climbed up, we ran out of breath, and one by by started laying down exasperated and tumbled down the hill. The grass on the hill was turned gray already, and never trimmed to give nice cushion for tumbling.  After we got tired of it, we climbed further up all the way to the top of the hill.  When we reached to the top, we were exasperated and lay down.

We looked at the clear blue sky and felt cool autumn breeze running through our hair. I sprawled up my arms and legs lying down to embrace the breeze and feel coolness of it.  As we mustered up our strength, we got up and continued climbing up several more steps to find ourselves in a strange and mystical place--an ancient tomb!  We saw a big open field at the top of the hill with marble animal statues standing in two rows, with tall tree being swayed by the wind making rustling sound; among the statures, there were horses and rams.  Furthur back, at the end of the rows, near the tomb, there were two human statues in a grinning expression, guarding the tomb.  The moment when the full view of the tomb came in sight, I had a feeling of meeting an old man who had lived thousands years. The tomb has a tombstone with Chinese characters carved in black limestone, that momentarily giving thoughts why writing was in Chinese, not in Hangul,  and a big cube limestone block laid out on top of four round block to form a table in front of the tomb. The tomb was larger than any tomb that I had ever seen, with decorative stones around at the bottom to act as fringe, giving extra special attention has been given for the care of the tomb. The human statures were by far the largest, standing in front of the tomb facing to each other, wearing hat and in full official cloths, holding hands together. The height of the statues were 12 feet tall with neck very short, not bare, hidden under cloth, and the stone had some blackened spots that seemed to have been weathered over long time, and the faces had grinning expression, that wondered me why the officials were chasled in smiling expression at guarding the dead.


I would very much like to know who it belongs to.  I visited Korea several times in adult life, but it never occurred to me that I should visit the tomb. I should make sure that visiting the tomb be part of my "things to do list in Korea."  If I were to visit again, I would need to retrace my memories from the Puckjae train station, but things have changed so much- it was all rice paddy in old days. Nore do I remember how to get there walking from the train station like I used to--I just followed adults in old days carrying a backpack mostly enjoying the scenary no concern figuring out how to get there. It would be nice to know the path which was taken and recreate the expidation to explore the place again with a camera.


The hill was discovered on Chusok day, and the grass on the hill had just turned dry in gray, no needing to worry about getting smudges on new pants that was bought for the holiday several days earlier. The hill was in front of an old tomb giving a nice view looking out standing on top. The tomb must belong to either a high ranking official in Chosen dynasty, or a member of loyal family, with its guards statures carved in wearing full regimental figures made out of marble. I climbed on top of one of small statures guarding the tomb and looked out enjoying autumn scenery that the surrounding offered, and then looked other statures which had been weathered gathering moss and changed its hue, wondering what it must have been like living five hundreds years ago and buried in old tomb to be visited by passerby.


When the party calling out asking to come down, I got off the stature and touched each statures to bid farewell with wishful thinking of visiting in next year walking by them in a quick run taking a bit more time at the two tall human guards before I rushed out to the hill and rand down the hill as fast as I could.

The adults got up after taking a rest sitting in a shade underneath a tree at the bottom of the hill, to continue walking as we all came down the hill. The usual scene of rice paddies unfolded in my sight with shicada humming coming from the trees on the hill.

Have you eve let yourself loose tumbling down on a hill under a crispy blue sky when you were a child?  Have you had experiences like me encountering an old tomb or a stature in your country? Have you had an urge to  hop on one of the regimental statures like me when you were a little child in your country? Come to think of it, it was wrong for me to hop on the stature--Please don't hop on that, your weight might cause damages to the precious historical site.



2. A big tall chestnut tree



3. Scenery of snow falling in the front yard

 Watching Kimchi pots in the front yard in cold January. The winter in January gets very cold in Seoul. When I open the sliding door and looked out on the front yard on a cold day in January, two Kimchi pots that were buried undergroud with its top sticking out at the corner of the front yard spurred up a desolate feeling within me.
The traditioal Korean house is not well suited to cold winter in January. The windows are poorly insulated, made with its windowpane out of rice paper, and the doors to the rooms are often faced to outside. The warmest part of the room is localized near the kitchen where the burning fuel of coal is taking place in Ondol system. Staying in poorly insulated can exude desolate feelings.  Have you ever stayed in a hot running heat on the floor, Ondol room?


4. Tobacco Farm House

Visiting a farm house to buy tabaco on the way from grandmother's garve yard. My great grandmother used to smoke using a long bamboo pipe, like the one I saw on a story book.  The bamboo pipe was about two feet, and she was holding the pipe all the time except when she worked and sleep. My aunt who cared for her deeply often suggested to drop by any farmhouses-we encounter on the way back home walking to catch a train- that cultivate tabacco and buy them in bulk for her grandmother, my great grandmother. Walking into a farmouse, smell of tabacco exuded a strange feeling for I had never been to a tabacco farm. Seeing the tabacco plants through the back door ajar made me feel as though I was in a different part of the world.  My aunt counted number of packages that  were wrapped with brown paper with a green prints that says "Korean Monopolized Tabacco Company." I could not forget the happy face of my great grandmother when tabacoo packages were sprawled out from a basket in front of her when we came home. Have you ever seen the tabacco comes in that package? Have you ever given presents to somebody, that make them so happy?

5. Gazing at rice paddies sitting at the balcony of a moving train on a fine autumn day

Sitting on the balcony of train watching golden rice field. On the way home from JangHung, I was sitting on the floor near the door looking out. As the train crusing along by the rice field, autumn sunset was casting it rays on the rice field glowing golden lights of reflection. The sight was mesmerizing and breathtaking!!

6. A grape vine in the front yard garden

 My old house had a garden in the front yard. The part of the garden near the entrance had a grape vine. The vine grew even before the front door was replaced to iron gate, whose two pillars holding up the old gate was torn down and the pillar was moved over to the garden to be laid along periphery of the garden as a flange, to keep the soil within. To my vague memory, the vine was planted by my great grandmother when someone brought it to our house, and it grew grapes every fall ever since I could remember. The grapes were not very tastful like concord grapes, but we ate them anyway after they were harvested.  We didn't put any fertilizer so the grapes didn't come out good. But one day, I saw great grandmother digging a hold  with a hoe, by the root of the vine, buried fish some heads like belt fish.  On that fall, I saw many big grapes growing markedly in bigger size, anything that vine that I had never seen.  My great grandmother collected the leaves of the vines in fall after harvesting the grapes, and let them dry.  She often mixed the leaves with tabacco to smoke. I was wondering whether she inhaled the smoke to enjoy smoking or she just enjoy bellowing the smoke out without swallowing into her lung.  Have you ever grown a grape vine and see the effect of frolic production of the fruit?


7. Great Grandmother making Pakjuk

8, Great Grandmother making Dotori Muk

9. Waking along narrow path on a scorching hot day en route to a reservior for fishing.

10. Catching minnows in a stream of clear water using a glass tube in ChungPyung.

11. Shaking hand with a girl I liked.

12. Watching great grand mother making Dongji Pak Juk. (Red bean porridge)

13. Skating at YunHee-Dong rice paddy in winter.

14.  Fire broke out at Daeyunkgak Hotel.

15. Caroling with church friends on Christmas Eve.

16. Walking with grandmother on field hocky field on a hot day in August, coming from a buddhist temple nearby.

17. Eating sweet bean pocycles sold by a vendor wearing tank top.

18. Eating Ho Dduck sold by a street vendor on cold days.

19. Visiting relatives to greet on Sol Nal (Korean New Year's Day)

20. Watching adults using mortar making rice cakes.

21. Smell of red bean Dduck being cooked in a traditional cookware.

22. Kite flying.

23. Sleding.

24. Eating Jajang-myun at the Chinese restaurant nearby home.

25. Reading Man-Wha all Sunday in Man-Wha Bang.

26. Going to TaeNeung Skating arena.

27. Eating freshly caught fish and crab at the daybreak at DaeChun beach on summer vacation.